Jacob: "So, Commander, you and Miranda, huh?"
Shepard: "Mr. Taylor, what do you think about the mission?"
Jacob: "OK, OK, it's cool. I just thought you should know, man to man, that I hit that. Whatever her dad paid for, we got his money's worth, am I right? The way she does that thing with her tongue? I wonder how much THOSE alleles cost. Know what I'm saying?"
Shepard: "Wait what?"
Jacob: "She didn't mention that, huh? Yeah, we had a thing going on."
Shepard: "I... excuse me. Thank you for telling me."
LATER
Shepard: *intercom* "Miranda, I need to see you in my cabin immediately."
Miranda: "Yes, Shepard?"
Shepard: "Hey look, I can't take sloppy seconds from a member of my crew. Let's pretend this never happened."
Miranda: "What?! Shepard, I... I love you..."
Shepard: "Hey, you're gengineered to be perfect, you'll find another guy. It's just too weird. Jacob's my bro. And you know what they say."
Miranda: "Once you go bl--"
Shepard: "No, the other one. Because that's obviously not the case."
Miranda: "Wait, I am NOT a h----"
Shepard: "Yeah, that one. Thanks for the achievement and all, but this really isn't going to work. Toodles."
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